well, certainly not dying. been there three times ... twice in the ocean, once while I was having "my stroke" (and the day afterward).
what keeps me awake at night, what I am truly afraid of is longer being able to care for myself. no longer able to prepare meals, go shopping, dressing my self or taking care of my personal hygiene.
I totally get that it may happen one day ... when I'm old. but lately. I've been getting indications that it could happen soon.
there are days (and they are getting more frequent) I struggle standing up and getting to the bathroom. days I don't shower because I'm convinced I'll fall in the shower if I do. days I cant zip a zipper and/or work a button. days I can't get up the nerve to leave my room.
it's not all the time ... yet. but I see it on the near horizon and it terrifies me.